


My Boyfriend Turned Into the Moon

by PeregrineWilliams



Category: Cardcaptor Sakura
Genre: Introspection, M/M, Multiple Personalities, Non-Explicit Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 10:45:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18071939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeregrineWilliams/pseuds/PeregrineWilliams
Summary: Yue wakes up one night in the arms of Yukito's boyfriend, and he finds himself getting a little lost in the feeling of it.





	My Boyfriend Turned Into the Moon

It happened every now and then, that when Yukito passed out or fell into a very deep sleep, Yue would find himself taking his place unexpectedly. This time, it took longer than it should have for him to realise where he was, due to the darkness around him and the confusing sensation on his body that he slowly became aware of.

He quietly sucked in a breath in surprise and embarrassment when he figured it out, his body tensing as he tried not to move.

He was being held, in a bed, by Yukito’s boyfriend, Touya, who was almost naked. Thankfully, the light of his transformation hadn't seemed to have woken him up. All Yue had to do was stay still until his body fell asleep again, and Yukito’s consciousness would return. 

Yue closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to relax and calm his mind. When he opened his eyes again, they had adjusted to the darkness, and he could see Touya's face just inches from his own. His breath caught in his throat again, and he couldn’t help but stare, feeling uncomfortable and guilty for his intrusion into this very intimate moment.

When Touya's arms tightened just slightly around him in his sleep, Yue could only think about how Touya would never be doing this if he knew who he was really embracing. It made him feel a little sick even as a strange warmth seemed to flow through him, originating from their points of contact. He wondered if it was Touya's magic, seeping into him more noticeably through touch than induction.

It was a very pleasant feeling, and Yue felt his discomfort slowly start to ebb away as he stared at Touya's face in the dark, this person that was so important to Yukito. He had even sacrificed his magic to Yue so that Yukito could exist, though he wasn't even a real person.

This was Yue’s body, technically, even though Yukito used it more often these days. The sensation of being held like this was foreign to Yue, though this body had been touched by Touya in this way many times before. He had seen it, like he had been watching a film of his other life in his mind, but had only felt it in a vague sense, like he was dreaming the faintest of abstract concepts.

Really, this situation wasn't much more intrusive than everything he had been privy to up until this point, as was just a symptom of his existence.

It was different, before, when Touya only knew that Yukito had magic in some way, but now he knew… mostly everything, and Yue wondered how he could still love Yukito the way he did.

He raised a hand very carefully to brush some of the hair out of Touya's face as he felt a swell of… some kind of feeling in his chest. Appreciation? Touya was a good man, and Yukito was happy, and Yue was glad for that. He was much more fortunate than Yue himself. He had loved one man before, but those feelings hadn't been requited. They couldn't have been, really, but Yue had been content with the familial affection until Clow had disappeared. 

_ Abandoned you, _ a voice in the back of his head reminded him. Yue immediately berated himself for thinking such a thing. Clow had his reasons for leaving, even if it did hurt to find out it had been on purpose, and that he was being given to someone else, and his reincarnation had… replaced him...

_ Touya was willing to give up his magic for Yukito. Clow would have never done that for you,  _ the intrusive voice wormed its way into the forefront of his mind again. Yue tried to counter the thought with an insistence that the situations were different, Clow was much more powerful and had much more important work to do.

_ More important to him than talking to his deceased mother was to Touya? _

The sickly ache started in his chest again and he tightened his arms around Touya involuntarily. He was glad that Touya had made this sacrifice so that his Master would not be put under strain or worry for him, but Yue himself didn't really deserve that kindness from him. Maybe Yukito did, but not Yue.

Yukito didn't know how lucky he really was, to have a man like Touya. Perhaps he understood the gravity of his sacrifice, but not how incredible that the person he loved, loved him in return, much less that it was another man who felt that way.

He found himself looking at Touya's lips in the dark as the ache in his chest weighed on him. Lips that his own had kissed many times, but never when Yue could feel it. Yukito could do so many things that Yue could only dream of in his moments of weakness, it was almost hard to accept that Yukito was the ‘fake’ one. Yue was never supposed to be anything other than a sink of magical energy and companion to his Master. Yukito, even if he wasn't real, could live a very real life as a human. He had relationships with real people and a future waiting for him thanks to Touya.

He ran a hand through Touya's hair again absentmindedly, a little less eager now to fall asleep and switch over. Maybe he could just allow himself to enjoy this feeling of another's arms around him while it lasted. It wasn't as if Yue would ever have one of his own. Touya's breathing stayed as soft and even as it had the whole time, and before he thought about it too hard, Yue leaned in the few inches it took to close the distance between them. He pressed his lips, feather-light against Touya's, trying to imagine how it felt as Yukito, how it would feel to kiss a man who loved him back. He was warm, and soft, and that same almost tingling feeling spread out from his mouth the way it did from the arms around him.

When he pulled away and looked at his face again, Touya's eyes were fully open and alert, staring into his own.

Yue froze in horror, and then all at once pushed himself away from Touya, his wings unfurling and flapping frantically as he tried to get as far away from him as possible. He didn't even manage to get all the way out of the blankets before Touya essentially tackled him, pinning his wings and arms to his body and holding him down against the mattress.

Yue could have escaped, realistically, even with how much heavier Touya was than him, but Yue was too mortified with embarrassment and guilt to attempt it again, not with the risk of accidentally hurting Touya on top of it. Yukito’s consciousness was still in a deep sleep, so he couldn't escape by transforming either. He went limp under Touya and pressed his face into the pillow, wanting to disappear.

Touya didn't even allow him that amount of dignity. He pulled Yue around to pin him down on his back by his shoulders, so he was forced to look up at him. Yue did so, his expression neutral as usual, except for the strain in his jaw as he tried to maintain his composure, waiting for Touya's next move.

Touya just stared at him, maddeningly, in that calculating way of his, until Yue broke their eye contact to look somewhere past his shoulder instead. “I apologise. It won't happen again,” he said in a low voice, as even as he could manage. “I did not mean anything by it.”

Touya continued to stare at him, that way that Yue knew Yukito hated as much as he loved it: when he was trying his hardest to hide something and Touya looked at him as if he already knew exactly what it was, but was waiting for Yukito to admit it to him out loud.

“Yue,” he said finally, like he was testing it out. The name on his lips was far more unfamiliar to him than ‘Yukito,’ though he searched Yue’s face as if he was trying to find any real difference from the man he knew better than any other. “Was that your first kiss, as yourself?”

Yue felt his throat close up again and his eyes widen just slightly despite himself. He cursed himself for allowing his expression to change. Touya was far too perceptive, as usual, even without any magical ability left to him, and Yue knew immediately that his almost imperceptible reaction would give him any answer he needed.

“I’m not angry at you, but I do want to talk,” he said firmly.

Yue sighed a little and closed his eyes, not moving even when Touya removed his hands from his shoulders and sat looking down at him instead. “I understand that it was not my place. You are Yukito’s-”

“I don’t mind,” Touya said, cutting him off. “You’re still Yukito.”

Yue looked up at him at that, frowning. “I am not. Do you still not understand what-”

“I understand what you are,” Touya cut him off again. “The two of you have different memories, but Yukito is a part of you, maybe even what you would have been if you had been born into life as a human. You are different, but you’re also still the same person.”

“We are not,” Yue objected quickly.

“I think you are. I think you’re more alike than you realise you are.”

“What is the point of this?” Yue asked testily. If he was being honest, there were a lot of things that he didn’t actually know about himself, but he didn’t appreciate how this conversation was progressing.

Touya looked at him in that calculating way again. “Yukito is a part of you. I see you as a side of Yukito that I don’t know much about, but I want to, because I love him.”

He said it so matter-of-factly that it caught Yue off guard, and that discomfort of intruding on something intimate tightened in his chest again. “I am not what you think I am,” Yue replied after a moment. “We’re not the same, and you’re not going to have feelings for me the way you have for him.”

To his surprise and slight annoyance, Touya’s expression changed for the first time, to crack a crooked smile at him. “We’ll see about that,” he said, as if Yue had just issued him a challenge.

“What is that supposed to mean?” he asked, affronted.

“Like I said, you two are more similar than I think you realise, especially in the most important ways. You both would do anything for my sister, for one thing. You’re both kind to a fault, where you sacrifice your own needs to take care of others. You do a lot of hiding behind your masks, his is just cheerfulness while yours is indifference. You never let people know what you really want. You do anything to hide your own pain so that you don’t bother others with it, something I can see through both of you for, which you both get annoyed at me for,” he added with a smile at Yue’s deepening frown, “And, you have the same taste in men.”

“I- We do not!” Yue spluttered, more angry at himself for doing so.

Touya leaned in very close to his face, still smiling. “What was that all about, then?”

Yue tried to crawl back away from him, but his shoulders met the headboard too soon. He didn’t meet Touya’s eyes as he answered quietly, “I just wanted to try it, since, as you already guessed, I haven’t before.”

“But you’ve wanted to for a while?”

“No,” he said quickly. “Not… not with you…” He really shouldn’t be telling Touya this. He hadn’t told anyone this. How did he get here?

“Another man?” Touya asked, his tone a little less teasing now.

Yue nodded reluctantly, but clarified. “A hundred years ago. It doesn’t matter now.”

Touya looked at him in that calculating way again, still very close to his face. If he was surprised at how old Yue really was, he didn’t show it. “But you never got to?”

He shook his head only slightly. “He… didn’t feel the same way.”

Touya nodded in acknowledgement. “So, what is it that you  _ really _ want, Yue?”

He looked up at him with a wary sense of indignation. “What are you insinuating?”

“I think I know what you want, but I want to hear you say it, if you even know what it is yourself,” he said softly, leaning over him more.

Yue felt a heat start to rise to his face. “Don't… Don't patronize me,” he stuttered as he pressed himself back against the headboard, rapidly losing the last of his composure.

“I'm not,” he said seriously, staring into his eyes, forcing him to look back. “I want to understand, and I want permission.”

“It's… It's not the same.  _ I'm _ not the same. And it's not what you think, not really…”

“Tell me what it is, then.”

Yue looked away from Touya again, his wings shifting involuntarily to wrap around himself more. “I… I want to be loved, the way you love Yukito,” he admitted quietly.

Touya raised a hand to rest against the side of Yue’s face, and maintained the contact even as he shied away in surprise, only moving closer to him. “That  _ is _ what I thought,” Touya said to him, just as quietly, and then moved his hand into Yue's long hair to hold him still as he leaned in to kiss him properly.

Yue froze as Touya tipped his head up to press into his mouth with practiced ease, kissing him like he had many times before. He held Yue’s face with one hand and ran the other through his hair, this action a little more uncertain and exploratory. A shiver ran through Yue at his touch, and he felt his body betray him and go limp against the headboard, moving however Touya’s hands directed him. The warm tingling feeling intensified and his heart began to race. Yue wondered again if it was Touya's magic, or perhaps this was just the human reaction to being touched intimately, which he had never experienced before. From observation alone, he understood that Touya's touch made Yukito weak in the knees and made it hard for him to breathe, but hadn't understood what it was truly like until now. He felt like he was drowning, really, but he craved every moment of it. This human had somehow managed to put him under a spell the like of which he had never encountered before. Despite all of his uncertainty and fear of his own emotions, Yue had never felt better than at his moment.

Yue pressed himself back against Touya and lifted a hand to caress the side of his face, finally allowing himself to admit how attractive he found him. He had always put up more of an emotional wall between himself and Touya, because Touya belonged to Yukito, and he didn't want to ruin what he had. But, if Touya could really love the both of them… if Touya really  _ wanted _ the both of them… Yue would never get another chance, and so he let himself go.

Yue had given Touya all the permission he needed. As soon as Touya felt his reciprocation, it was as if a switch had been flipped, and he stopped holding back. He moved away from Yue's lips, and Yue felt as if he could finally breathe again until he felt Touya's mouth on his throat instead. Touya crawled more fully on top of him and he felt himself slipping down the headboard until he was flat against the bed again.

Touya was almost aggressive in the way he kissed his skin, and yet he seemed entirely intent on Yue's pleasure rather than his own. Yue’s breath came in shallow gasps as Touya pulled his robes off his shoulders to access his chest. He ran a hand up Touya's arm, to his shoulder, and into his hair, hugging his head to himself as Touya continued to explore Yue’s body with his mouth. Perhaps it wasn't exploration though, and Touya just knew exactly the parts of his body that were the most sensitive since it was the same body as Yukito's. Either way, Touya was very good at what he did, and soon enough Yue felt any semblance of control over his reactivity whither to nothing.

Yue only realised the extent of his reaction when he felt Touya’s arousal press against his own. His body jerked up into the touch involuntarily, and he hid his face against Touya’s shoulder in embarrassment.

“It’s okay,” Touya whispered against his hair between his own heavy breaths. “You can want this, like Yukito.” He ran his hands down Yue’s body, unwrapping more of his clothes as he went. He pulled Yue’s hips up to fit against his own as he kissed the side of his neck. “You can want me. Do you?”

Yue took a deep shuddering breath and nodded, wrapping his arms around Touya more fully as he surrendered himself. There was safety and comfort and magic and  _ life _ in Touya’s embrace, like he never even imagined. The first time he had felt anything like this was the moment his Master had made it clear to him that she wanted him to be a  _ friend, _ not a tool of hers. That had always been the beginning of his change of heart. Sakura had given him the key, opened the door so he could see outside for the very first time, but now Touya had pulled him through it. He had succeeded in making Yue believe, for the first time, that he could be  _ real, _ he could be a whole person, that the pieces of him had a chance of converging. He could live a life where he could love, could have relationships, could have dreams of his own, and not only exist at certain times for the convenience of another. He could be human, with Touya’s help, and Touya had judged him deserving.

When Touya entered him, the discomfort he was expecting never came. Yukito had prepared his body only hours before, and thus Yue’s easily accommodated the familiar shape of him. His bodily comfort aside, the sensation was entirely new and incredible to Yue, and he felt his eyes wet with all the emotion that came with it. Touya slowed a moment when he noticed, and looked at him in concern, but Yue only responded by holding him closer, which seemed to assuage his fears.

When Yue was spent and he felt his consciousness slipping away again, chest to chest with the man who had given him new life, he realised he truly did love him every bit as much as his alternate. He pressed his lips to Touya’s one last time as he held on to the feeling of Touya’s heart beating in time with his own, and whispered a ‘thank you.’


End file.
